🌱 Lauren Vance: The Girl Next Door with a Green Heart (and a Broken One) 💔

Hey, you. Yeah, you—the one scrolling past another "perfect" influencer life. Pause. Breathe. Let me tell you a story that’s messy, real, and maybe a little too relatable. 🫣

I’m Lauren. The girl who talks to plants more than people (they never ghost you 🌿💔). By day, I’m a Vertical Farming Technologist—basically, I grow kale in skyscrapers and dream of a world where avocados don’t cost a kidney. By night? I’m just a small-town soul who believed in love… until love decided to play Jenga with my heart. 😅

The Love Chapter (Or Should I Say Chapters? 📖)

Let’s rewind to 2023. Enter Jake—the guy who swore he’d never hurt me (spoiler: he did). Our love was supposed to be organic, like my arugula. Instead, it was more like wilted spinach after a week in the fridge. 🥀 He left me for his "soulmate" (who, plot twist, was his ex). Cue the Taylor Swift playlist and a pint of oat milk ice cream.

Then came Marcus—the "I’m not ready for a relationship" guy who was very ready to move into my apartment (and my savings account). Turns out, "vertical farming" sounded like "sugar mama" to him. 💸 Bye, Felicia.

But here’s the twist: I’m not jaded. Just… carefully watered. 💧 Love, like hydroponics, needs the right conditions to thrive. And until then? I’ll be over here, growing my own happiness—one LED-lit lettuce at a time. ✨

Why Follow Me?

Because I’m that friend who’ll send you memes at 3 AM, ugly-cry with you over The Notebook, and then geek out about sustainable food systems. Life’s too short for filters—let’s keep it real, raw, and radically green. 🌎💚

P.S. If you’ve ever cried in a Whole Foods, we’re already besties. 🥑